Teardrop Diary

Teardrop Diary: A journal with poetry for healing your heart after pregnancy loss By Erin McSparron

Click on "Teardrop Diary" to purchase a copy or to see several pages of preview.

A brief story of my journey after loss:

I was pregnant with our second child when at 15 weeks I began spotting. We had an ultrasound which showed he had stopped developing at 11 1/2 weeks. I miscarried naturally at home the next day. We named him Thaddeus Noah McSparron and that night I began to write poetry. I believe that God gave me this gift of poetry when He called my son home. I have written over 25 poems and have put them into a special book with space to journal and Bible verses throughout. It has been a labor of love and has helped me to mourn the loss of my son and celebrate his short life. I pray that God will use these words to reach out to people who are hurting and grieving their own loss. I also pray that these words would minister to people who may not yet know our loving God.

If you have read some of my poetry and would like to comment on it, please email me. I would love to hear feedback, how it touched you, or made a difference in your healing. My email is emcsparron@msn.com. Please put "Teardrop Diary" in the subject line.

Blessings.

Erin emcsparron@msn.com

My Thank You to all who have supported us during this trying time.

I am amazed at what God is doing to spread comfort through this book. I pray that God will continue to help put it in the hands of the hurting, I believe thereby fulfilling Thaddeus' purpose. God has made possible many opportunities for me to tell others about my journey and book. I was a featured speaker at a infant loss memorial service recently and I have been featured in the Rochester Post Bulletin and the Dodge County Independent newspaper and have had a book signing in Kasson, MN. I have also been interviewed on a Moorhead, MN Christian radio station, KFNW. I have also had the books for sale at the East Grand Forks craft fair and Rochester's With Woman Event. I appreciate meeting those who have been touched by grief and have been helped by my book. Feel free to contact me. God's blessings on your journey of grief. emcsparron@msn.com

We visit and place flowers at Thaddeus' grave in memory of the day that he was due to be born (May 2nd), which is also the day that we buried him. I made this stepping stone for his grave stone.

Almost 1 1/2 yrs. after we said goodbye to Thaddeus, we welcomed Hillary Grace into our lives. We still miss Thaddeus terribly and we look forward to meeting him in Heaven some day. Until then, we thank God for His many blessings, one of which is our new healthy, happy daughter. This poem relays the struggle of emotions and the continued remembrance that we are experiencing, having a child after a loss.

A Different Child

by Pandora MacMillian

People notice

There's a special glow around you.

You grow

Surrounded by love,

Never doubting you are wanted;

Only look at the pride and joy

In your mother and father's eyes.

And if sometimes

Between the smiles

There's a trace of tears,

One day

You'll understand.

You'll understand

There was once another child

A different child

Who was in their hopes and dreams.

That child will never outgrow the baby clothes

That child will never keep them up at night

In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.

Except sometimes, in a silent moment,

When mother and father miss so much

That different child.

May hope and love wrap you warmly

And may you learn the lesson forever

How infinitely precious

How infinitely fragile

Is this life on earth.

One day, as a young man or woman

You may see another mother's tears

Another father's silent grief

Then you, and you alone

Will understand

And offer the greatest comfort.

When all hope seems lost,

You will tell them

With great compassion,

"I know how you feel.

I'm only here

Because my mother tried again."

Slings, Towels, Car Seat Coats, and More!